Day 34: Clarity

Today, I am reminded of the love of God.

You can read about the love of God, and you can be told about the love of God, but the greatest way we can ever really know the love of God is to experience it firsthand.

Most people can tell you of a time when they felt the love of God-- and usually it's when they deserved it least. But no matter what story you hear, it is almost always self-centered. Not in a bad way mind you, but it usually involves experiencing the love of God in your own self. I, too, have a story along those lines, but today I got a bigger view of God's love.

Today, I sat at the computer screen, talking to my friends back home, finding out all the latest news when I found out something I really didn't want to hear. When one of our friends struggles, we struggle too. It is a gift and a burden we share as humanity. We spread out our load so it's not so heavy. And today, as I sat crying, feeling confused, betrayed and lied to, the only thing I could really think is "I love you. No matter what happens, I love you. No matter how many times you disappoint me or hurt me or push me away, I will still be here, unmoved, right where you left me, and I will still be loving you. There is nothing you can ever do to make me stop. I will always love you."

And in that moment, I could hear God say "This is MY LOVE. This is My Love for You. Now do you finally understand?"

So, I thought about all the times I've disappointed God. All the times I tried to hide and all the times I've been angry and throughout those times, no matter how much I hurt Him, He pursued. He relentlessly pursued saying "I love you. I will always love you. There is nothing you can do to make me stop loving you."

If I, some pitiful human, can feel such love for another pitiful human, how much greater is the love of The One who created Love in the first place?