Auld Laud Sang

New Year.

So, I think I like what New Year's Eve does to people (not counting the drinking and bad decisions of course). There's a feeling of hope about the year to come that radiates in the air, igniting a fire within us. "This will be the year," we think. The year for whatever we have been waiting. Because in fact... our entire lives have been leading up to this moment... this year. I like making lists, having goals; it's something I do on a daily basis, so New Years Resolution's are right up my alley. So here's my list: I'll keep you updated on when I accomplish these things. (in no particular order)

#1- Be a vegan for two weeks
#2- Be a vegetarian for two weeks
#3- Learn the names of flowers
#4- Learn calligraphy
#5- Visit a scientology church and get a personality quiz
#6- Complete 26 things photo scavenger hunt
#7- Get a tarot card reading
#8- Climb the Ocala National Bank
#9- Put a message in a bottle and send it to sea
#10- Try Miracle berries
#11- Go to a roller derby
#12- Write letters
#13- Carve my name in a tree
#14- Listen to all songs on Rolling Stone's Top 500
#15- Run through Harry's kitchen and out the front
#16- Send all fo my close friends cards on their birthdays this year
#17- Attempt to like Hot Tea
#18- Leave Operation Beautiful Notes every public place I go
#19- Complete the 100 Strangers challenge
#20- Read all of Shakespeares works
#21- Keep a one-sentence journal
#22- Call customer service just to thank them for good service.
#23- Watch more than one movie at the cinema, but only pay for one.
#24- Do not play it safe at restaurants.
#25- Answer 50 questions that will free your mind- one a week
#26- Watch 26 foreign films/ documentaries alphabetically
#27- Leave inspirational notes in random books at the library (maybe in the self-help section)
#28- Get my conceal and carry permit
#29- See Phantom of the Opera Live
#30- Buy a pair of Toms Shoes
#31- Guerilla Art random places
#32- Learn to count cards
#33- Use only recyclable bags when shopping
#34- Always ring flat 203 downtown on the square
#35- Send my mom flowers at work
#36- Read 10,000 pages
#37- Run a 5k with no walking breaks
#38- Participate in Thrill the World- Oct 24th!!!
#39- Participate in the Zombie Pub Crawl
#40- Spend more time at the river
#41- Run the Muddy Buddy Race
#42- Go to a Medieval Festival

Out with the old... in with the old?

So I've been cleaning out my childhood room this past week since moving home. I'm combining and throwing away little pieces of my past in order to move on with the future. In doing this, I found a poem book I was assigned to write in 9th grade. Mrs. Joiner wanted us to write 16 different poems. Some of them had to be lyrical, haikus, ballads, narratives, sonnets... a little bit of everything. Re-reading these has made me realize two things. One, I'm extremely glad blogs weren't popular when I was going through my emo phase, or who knows what kind of emotional drama would be lost out in the stratosphere of the internet. Two, I am still that 14 year-old girl.

philos

It's weird to think about coming home. I figured the last time I left Cleveland, I would drive away trying to fight off the flooding memories, and as I did I realized one thing: Change doesn't hurt, it's the memory that does. It reminded me of something I read about by the man named UG. UG was a man who rejected the basis of thought, a philosopher of sorts if that's possible, and he was Indian, which just makes him the perfect sort of guru for my life. He once said:
"There is no such thing as death. What you have are ideas about death, ideas which arise when you sense the absence of another person. Your own death, or the death of your near and dear ones, is not something you can experience. What you actually experience is the void created by the disappearance of another individual and the unsatisfied demand to maintain the continuity of your relationship with that person for a non-existent eternity."
This reminds me of moving. If I'm sad, it's because I am experiencing a void, nothing more, nothing less.

Calling Baton Rouge

This past weekend, I undertook driving 8 hours one way to see a dear old friend/professor of mine for the weekend. Crazy? Almost. The distance from Cleveland, TN to Baton Rouge, LA is the same as driving home for me... which I would never think to do in a weekend. However, spending some good old-fashioned quality down time with an old friend seemed like a good payoff for the trip, especially since I'll be leaving next weekend and won't be able to see her anymore.


4 suitcases, one dog, and Google directions and we were on our way!



Jason, the aforementioned ex-professor and current dear friend was kind enough to make up a nice little to-do list of things we MUST do while in Baton Rouge, of which included: eating beignets (quite scrumptious), eating crawfish, crab, and GATOR (yikes). I'm from Florida, home to the Gators, and never have I thought to undertake that.


We also went to a cute little Whole Foods store where Jason does all of his grocery shopping, since the rain had prevented us from accomplishing other things on our to-do list.




Fresh Cranberries! And Celery soda? yep. I hear it's not too bad though.

Did I mention one of the main reasons of this trip was to see New Moon?
Outrageous?!
Almost certainly
But Jason and Ali and I have a tradition of seeing the movies together... so we did. :)

It's My Life

Oh, my life can be oh so wonderful sometimes. Meeting new people that I actually enjoy hanging out with is one of my most favorite things in life. Tonight was spent with the Pembertons, which is always an intellectual stimulation that my brain doesn't quite often get in such a small the-only-intellect-we-need-is-Bible-intellect type of town. Hanging out at Nick's apartment is shortly becoming one of my favorite past times. He lives by himself in a large two-bedroom flat in house that's over 100 years old. I love old houses, especially because this house is so large, it's been divided up into tons of little apartments. There's so much history in the creaky hardwood floors and paint-chipped walls. It's absolutely intoxicating to me. I have to live somewhere like that one day. Other than his apartment being in such a cool location (the historic district), Nick also converted his second bedroom into a theater room. (There's a projecter screen with elevated seating.) Not too bad for a college student. Nick's apartment is fun because it's nicely decorated and always clean, a fact which I am incredibly impressed by considering he's a boy. Plus, people just stop by randomly, so you never know who you're going to hang out with. Tonight was Laney, John Watkins, a married couple, and Jason Dooley. All fun characters. We just sat around and watched tv, making witty comments which was a perfect end to my day.

La-La-La-La-La-La-La Life is Wonderful

The past couple weeks have been utterly amazing. The amount of life goals I've been accomplishing as of late is phenomenal. I've gone fishing (off of a bridge), hiking in Tellico, fired a gun, walked along railroad tracks across a bridge and got photographic proof. I am utterly amazed at how happy I am.

Newness.

I think newness is important in life.
I think it's necessary.
Life would go on never changing if it didn't exist.
I have officially spent over one year purposefully changing my life.
-I no longer spend more than 10 minutes on styling my hair a day.
-I started getting up early on a regular basis.
-I made an effort to cross things off of my Life Goals List.
-I conciously spent my time making sure I was a positive influence on people.
-I now know one person better than anyone else does, and he knows me best too.
-I let myself get hurt. (Much different that 'i got hurt')

So now it's time for new goals. Time for new change. So what am I doing now?
I am...
-not letting one person be responsible for so much of my happiness.
-planning a future only for me
-training for a 5k, that I will complete
-committing myself to growth
-spend a little more time making sure I look presentable
-get rid of material things
-read more books

hope

Life has been so incredible as of lately. I'm not entirely sure if it's that life is great, or that I'm so surprised that I am happy almost constantly. A new friendship has bloomed, and it has made me feel so incredibly fulfilled. New opportunities have emerged, that just months ago I never would have thought possible. I am reminded in this moment that world keeps turning; life keep happening. It doesn't always happen how we think it will, but it happens nonetheless. And when things aren't the greatest, they have only the potential to get great, and that's something to hope for.

spanglish and salsa

Sometimes I forget that there are bigger things in life. I get caught up in my feelings, and let them distort the world around me. Today I had one of those humbling moments, or as I like to see it- one of God's subtle reminders that He should in fact be the center, not me. Tonight I spent over an hour hanging out with tons of Latinos. It was amazing to be caught up in the middle of Spanglish and Salsa. There was Puerto Rico, Panama, Peru, Cuba, Mexico and Chile all represented and it was amazing to me to see such a connection. I was thoroughly enjoying spending time struggling with what little spanish I know trying to communicate with them. When I got home I got a friend request from a young girl from Honduras. She's likely one of the girls I'll be working with when I move there in january, and this small little request made me remember; remember that there's more pressing things in the world than my own happiness.

A start

“While yet alive, before their tints had faded, they glistened like the fairest flowers, the product of primitive rivers; and he could hardly trust his senses, as he stood over them, that these jewels should have swam away.”

This a quote by Henry David Thoreau that I've been in love with the past year. It may not seem like much, because it doesn't give you a warm, fuzzy feeling deep down inside and its not incredibly thought-provoking and it doesn't change the way you look at life, but I think there's beauty in the fact that you have to search for it. For me, it is life. It's about how precious and short it is, but that there's beauty right up until the end. It's about how we change and learn and grow throughout our lives. And its about twilight, its about that magical moment that exists right before it ends, and so it only seems appropriate to start this blog here. For I am in the twilight, while yet alive...